This is a welfare call. Y’all! Check on your desert dwelling friends. We are almost not okay.

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‘You know, it’s suppose to get to 95 on Sunday’

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Fuck.

Yes, I have to constantly remind myself that I voluntarily choose to live in the desert because the rest of the year doesn’t suck. It’s just the devils Anus 4 months out of the year.

But let me tell you what…

When they say it’s going to get to 95… they mean the temperature will be 95 but the seat of your car will be about thigh branding hot. I sure can’t wait to feel the familiar stickiness of knee crease sweat as it slowly rolls down the back of the calf. Sunburns? Only in places you didn’t know you could burn.

This is most commonly witnessed in the variety of homeless and looks homeless female populous wandering streets in the greater metro during hot weather. Oh the fashion choices!

It’s a lot like going to… Remote Paris Fashion Week in Eastern Kentucky sponsored by Purdue Pharma.

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Honey, I own scissors too. That wasn’t meant to be that way.

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Then there is the, ‘Is She actually wearing shorts’ debate. An all time classic. I’ve seen some shorts that resemble that floss stuff them fancy women stick in their asses. But it’s labeled as $60 jeans.

Fuck Clean Off.

Just like there is the financial 2 percent… there is 2 percent of women that can wear them…

and ain’t non of us Megan Fucking Fox now.

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Watch out for your friends y’all. Friends help friends. Help yours to not look stupid, and stay hydrated.

-🍋💋