‘When does one become comfortable with leaving their known family members to pursue a life, away from home? ‘

I absolutely adore this question.

Why?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that when I left my hometown, home state, home country… I was always alone.

Quick note… if you haven’t prior to reaching this point, please go review the ending of Adoption: pt4. Specifically RSD.

Kthxbye, I’ll wait here for you.

I am a born and bred Western Washington Native.

I love my home state. Washington State has some of the most natural and beautiful landscapes available. Especially in Western Washington…
…if you can tolerate the rain.

Yes. It REALLY does rain that much.

I absolutely treasure my childhood being able to wander free among the moss covered trails. The peaceful crisp air flows freely, violently being thrust up the Penninsula Cliffside lining the trail..

.. hiking to the stream to observe the Steelhead migration for spawning season…

The white water mist cloaking the flashes of pink and silver jumping frantically up the fish latter. Close enough to reach your hand down and grab one by the tail, if you could hold onto the slimy slipper scales.

Some of my best memories circle around the land that I come from.

Not the people.

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My view point on the people has been tainted time and time again by the actions of others.

I don’t hold grudges, that takes way too much effort. Rather, scorecards.

The level of effort and communication you receive on me is directly mirrored by the effort and communication I receive from you. Period.

It’s pretty simple…

If you have any intention on being involved in whatever your desired aspect may be… it comes down to a simple question..

‘How we gonna’ act today?’

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I have a lifetime of watching those of me leave with absolutely no remorse.

For fucks sake, I was abandoned at birth.
Legit, LIFETIME.

It’s not that I have a ‘heart of stone’.

It’s more, I have a serious issue with broken emotions. I don’t feel things the way I am suppose to. The disappointment cuts a little deeper each time.
BUT…
The kill shot is when someone I am deeply loyal to… I care about on primal level… the ones that are suppose to love disrespects and disappoints me.

Right now, there is no better time to answer this question. I am currently in a heightened emotions state, due to a situation that didn’t have to be currently progressing in my life.

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The Jewish Calendar dictates that starting Wednesday, April 5th at Dusk… Pesach begins.

Passover is one of the Jewish religions most sacred and among the most widely observed holidays.

Passover is the commemoration of the Jews departure from Egypt. While enslaved and forced to live under Pharaoh’s ruthless reign, the Jewish slaves endured 7 days of plagues to include Locust, and the slaying of the first born.

As the teaching state, marked Jewish households were protected from the forces of destruction when Hashem ‘smot the land of Egypt’ on the eve of the Exodus.

Jewish bloodlines celebrate by gathering for a sedar where a overbearingly long service proceeds dinner. There are very few appitizer breaks.. and I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of guessing what parts of the fish are exactly in the glob of ghefilte on the sad lettuce infront of you…

… but it’s worth having a betting pool on…
40 years of experience and a MA in Culinary Sciences…
I’m still not sure.

Here’s the other side to it all. Because it is a major Jewish Holiday… burials and funerals are strictly prohibited.

Meaning if a loved one dies, you either get them in the ground before the holiday or they are sitting on ice for 4 days or until the end of the Sabbath.

Granted this is a pretty uncommon occurance, it does happen.

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‘Why are you droning on about all this when we are suppose to be focusing on the question?’

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It’s all relevant.

I have been dealing with a few very difficult life events since early this past Summer.

Outside of the ‘Big Trauma’ days… I have also endured losing both of my Grandparents.

BUT..

What has been the most damaging is that I have not been able to attend either of their funerals, nor been granted the ability to visit the site.

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I have also just started to become healed enough to return to my home state after 20 years.

I struggle greatly myself in a lot of personal struggles regarding religion and loyalty in relationships.

but…

Where is there to be comfort found in anything we do?

I left home 20 years ago, and never went back.

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Leaving home is one of the first things I mention when providing guidance to anyone.
Even if you have been there since conception… travel…

Get the fuck out of your hometown.

Comfort is generated just like personal happiness… within. I promise you have been uncomfortable more times in your life than the opposite.

Home is where you decide it is. There is no invisible puppy leash tying you to the tree in the middle of town.

Now, parting with family members on other not so positive terms… that’s another beast.

Some situation call for the removal of a family member for the mental, physical or emotional health of another family member…
OR
You have removed yourself from said family physically, but there have not been established life boundaries because you care too deeply to see that bond damaged.
OR
You’re enduring a fucking horror movie plot level situation in which both are happing simultaneously.

Ohhhhh… I can smell the toxicity from here.

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In todays seriously fucked it social norm, most situations your comparing to these outlines are probably a combination of varying shit shows coming together to form the shit circus that is current life.

or maybe not… but who cares.

In my humble opinion, as soon as a fitting opportunity comes your way… take it. Leave the comfort of your family and what image they are trying to force on you. Run, dream, explore- all safely of course.

Only you are strong enough to stand up to another human being and decide you are comfortable with it.

Only you can judge the severity of how you allows your personal connections affect your comfort levels. Ultimately, if you feel that being associated with this person is damaging to your personal peace, or you’ve reached your limit of being disappointed by them- there is absolutely no reason you should be uncomfortable and unable to love yourself and live your life.

May I be the first to wish you a peaceful Sunday.

See you all Monday -🍋💋