Raise your hand if you’re like me and have trust issues. Don’t be shy. I’m about to write about mine publicly on the internet.
So let’s go!
What exactly are ‘Trust Issues’?
‘Trust issues’ refer to a state of mind where an individual finds it hard to trust people, both in their lives and strangers that they meet.
When a individual has trust issues, they can hardly trust people because their trust has been broken before. They may have lost their sense of security and safety, and this will make them expect the worst from everyone.
Any of that sound like life?
It probably does because wether we want to admit it or not, we live in a toxic society. I’ve not met a single person of my relative age that doesn’t have trust issues. Some of us started collecting our TIs in a box as babies, and we decided to seal them away in a time capsule until we were adults. Others may not have had them until they starting dating. Either way, it’s an inevitable fact of life.
There are a few documented signs of TIs in people. Some are very intrusive and aggressive. Some mirror extreme paranoia. You can find a full list on google if you’d like. I am going to focus on my specific issues. After all, this isn’t just a blog… I am a woman and a life coach. I stood up and said I will show my flaws and heal. I will try to help others by leading by example. So… let me openly welcome you to my trust issues.
THE OVERTHINKER
A woman who has trust issues will automatically overthink. When she discovers something strange, she will read different meanings to it. If you don’t clarify her thoughts, she will keep thinking until she finds a suitable landing ground.
Overthinking is one of the signs of a woman with trust issues. This is why many love having partners who can hold detailed conversations. With such partners, the chances of overthinking reduce because their partners would reveal everything they need to know.
SOLID RELATIONSHIPS
One of the signs of a woman with trust issues is she doesn’t know how to build solid relationships. All the time, she would think of those who are loyal and disloyal to her. If any of them makes a mistake, she most likely gives up on that relationship.
At any slight suspicion of betrayal, she will shut the individual out of her circle because she doesn’t want heartbreak.
AVOIDS COMMITMENTS
One of the ways to know girls with trust issues is when she tries to avoid getting committed at all costs.
Someone with trust issues knows that commitment also makes her vulnerable, and she may not be ready to share that part of her with anyone. Therefore, when it feels like she is supposed to get committed to any relationship, she will most likely pull out.
GRUDGES
Most times, women with trust issues have had their trust broken. Hence, it would be difficult for them to trust anyone even though they go the extra mile. Such women usually find it hard to allow people to break into their circle because they don’t want to encounter the same painful process.
So, if you offend her slightly, she might hold grudges because she knows you will likely repeat it.
THE LONER
Another way to spot a woman with trust issues is that she prefers to stay alone instead of being around people.
One of the reasons for this is that she has probably figured out that staying alone reduces the chances of bothering people who will break her trust. Hence, the fewer people around her, the less likely it is to have her trust broken.
THE FEAR OF ABANDONMENT
Women with trust issues are always scared of being abandoned. They are always scared of being shut out or abandoned in their relationships.
When they get an emergency or strange message from their co-workers, spouse, boss, etc., they always think the worst has happened. Therefore, they are always prepared to let go when they suspect something has happened.
Yup. That was really hard to write. Welcome to my version of ‘Outgrowing Your Bullshit’
My trust issues are rooted deep in my birth, and matured by the example of a Grade A Narcissist mother. Furthered by poor judgment in relationships which leads me to where I am today.
I don’t trust anyone.
I can’t. It’s not that I haven’t tried. Every time I try, it a guarantee 💯 % fail rate.
From the time I was introduced to this world, I was forced into a life of solitude. Abandoned by a Mother who couldn’t bother to name me, or hold me.
“Skin-to-skin contact appears to provide an optimal environment for fetal to neonatal adaptation after birth and can help to maintain body temperature and adequate blood glucose levels in healthy term newborn infants, as well as providing an ideal opportunity to establish early bonding behaviours.” -kickassbirth.com
Immediate and continual bonding is essential for normal infant development. It is also essential for the new mother to nurture said infant for hours after in order to fully bond their attachment and love for the child.
Hi. I am the baby that was in the pink blanket, alone in the hospital plastic bassinet. I’m the baby who wasn’t worthy of my own Mothers love.
BUT… YOU’RE IN A POSITIVE FLOWING RELATIONSHIP
That’s right! I am.
This man right here is the only person I have any faith in. In the last 5 months, this individual has shown more kindness and compassion than anyone I have ever come in contact with. Even at my absolute rock bottom, he is there without question. He also understands what it’s like to have a Gucci red flag.
He also has his past, and his own trust issues. The woman in his life previously were just as manipulative to him and his children as my own Mothers (yup, both of them) were to me. The emotional pain and damage for Biggie and his are as real today as it was when it happened.
Yet, we strive to heal and instead of doing that alone… we are stronger for doing it together.
It is hard. Especially for a naturally aggressively personality like me. I have been alone my whole life, forced to fight and claw for what I could. Unable to communicate or form a bond with another female from birth, and abandoned by every man in my life. Unaware of a brain malformation and the host of chemical imbalances due to extremely high function autism. Yet, always pushing myself to be better, stronger and strive to make those who chose to raise me proud…but always feeling ‘not good enough’.
I spent 30 years unaware that it actually wasn’t me. The woman that raised me couldn’t mirror emotions that diminished her standing for a younger female.
NOT EVEN HER OWN DAUGHTER.
To this day, sadly, it still rings true. She would rather play Alpha games, than submit in her weakened advanced state.
SHE WOULD RATHER FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT THAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER ADULT DAUGHTER.
Tune into ‘Where’s The Beef Wednesday’ to find out why.
The bottom line is, without Biggie I would have never approached this subject. I would never be healing in the way I am. I definitely wouldn’t have the strength or confidence to confront my demons and expose their names.
I was fortunate enough to find a partner that is willing to accept the hot mess I am, in order to help me become the beautiful soul I am. Someone to grow, learn, laugh and love with.
My Love,
Although, I still tremendously struggle with all that has gone on… somewhere deep down inside of me knows that I am safe, warm and cared for… even when I’m screaming and crying and can’t show it…
I’m sorry for losing my mind so often recently, but please understand this.
You’re the only person I am willing to learn to fully trust. 💜💜
🚢💋SEDONA SUNSETS💋🏴☠️ 