Oh, Hello again! How good it is to see you! Clearly this post is for tomorrow, but due to some scheduling issues… it will be posted today!

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Today I am going to be reflecting on my less-than perfect history with the truth. Again, I must preface with a precautionary note.

Happy Tuesday, Ya’ll! ☀️ As always, I hope you’ve found this post in peace and kindness. For we promote that awesome shit like mad around here. Here’s to Day 2 of my ‘flip the script’ challenge. By flipping the script, I am saying I am going to break my silence. I am going to openly talk about my damage.

First off let me just say a couple things.
The content in this post may be disturbing to some. Please exercise caution. It is not mandatory that you must read it. If at any point you’re uncomfortable, please stop here!

If it ain’t the King of Rock & Roll, Mr. Elvis Presley ya’ll! Question though…

What does the meaning of ‘TRUTH’ mean to you? To the masterminds at Oxford Languages, it’s this;

However, I am asking what it means to you, personally. We can all follow a predefined line, especially with something so cut and dry as, THE TRUTH.

But… we are, after all, humans.

Our brains are programmed more by societal pressures and expectations than the lessons our parents try like hell to teach us.

As an adult, I have been described as ‘brutally honest’. I will be the first to admit, I am this way because of my childhood. You see, I had a mother that couldn’t accept any truth but her own. For those not familiar with someone like that, it’s a very difficult situation to deal with. Especially when you are too naive and ill equipped emotionally to deal with manipulation, control and gaslighting.

In todays pull quote, The King gives us a beautiful mindvision.

“Truth is like the Sun…”

Thinking of the Sun as the truth provides a visual of smooth silky tanned skin accompanied by the all too familiar smells of coconut and sun lotion. I feel warm, as if the sweet non blistering breezes of fall have rushed to the rescue of my swear glistened skin.

For those not familiar with land locked middle eastern state summers… Arizona is hell from Mid May to September. Hence why the West Coast nickname for the flocks of retirees that flood in September to Mid May is ‘Snow Birds’. It’s just fucking hot, and deserts aren’t exactly known for their shade.

“…you can try to shut it out for a time…”

Damn straight. Blackout curtains or those cheap dark colored throws from Walmart work the best. The only thing is, once you open the shades – hello Sunshine.

ALL. DAY. LONG.

“…but it ain’t going away.”

Well, until the Sun exhausts its store of nuclear fuel, some 5 billion years from now, it will evolve into a bloated red giant, gobbling up Mercury and Venus, and scorching the Earth.

After ejecting its outer layers in the form of a colourful planetary nebula, the Sun will then be compressed into a tiny white dwarf star.

But don’t quote me on that. I have absolutely no plan on sticking around that long. Not even for the ultimate sun scorched complexion.

The truth is something that throughout my life has been a ball and chain. I carry my personal damage regarding the subject in a couple of different ways. Although I am aware, and actively making an effort to address the two major causes of my inherent anger and aggression.

Number one, I absolutely hate having someone elses will forced on me. No being besides myself controls me. Period. I am absolutely incapable of functioning properly in an unhealthy co-dependent partnership. This imperfection is deeply rooted in the memories of my beginnings.

My mother did not have the time to hear anyone’s truth except her own. It’s pretty common if you look around in public, there are billions of personalities with this same issue. The conflict within our relationship stems from her consistently accusing me of lying. I remember at one point, she had told family and friends to not listen to me because I was a habitual liar. Of course, I heard it from a family member while at the event she has prepared them all for. That wasn’t the only time, from age 6 until I left at 18. Do you even know how damaging that is to a child?

By age 10 I was afraid to speak anywhere outside of my home or my friends. By 13, I was running away onto the University Campus across the street. I couldn’t stand her. It’s one thing when someone points the finger at you yet, it’s justified. It’s a whole other ball game when that finger is the one that was suppose to be your guide. I struggled with the jealousy of the other kids abilities to make friends, while I was called weird and ugly to my face. I couldn’t even recall events that happened to me without wondering if my memory was a fallacy. I’d come home from after school sports, shower and cry myself to sleep.

On the outside our family home life looked like the almost perfect little Jewish family. There was just one little blemish, and it was blond.

The truth -in my definition – is a sign of respect. It takes a lot to have those hard talks and, frankly no one wants to have them. So the residual build up of anxiety leads to different personalities increased volatility when the truth is revealed.

Sometimes it’s just the nature of the truth to cause anger and aggression. Other times it is the closure to a chapter that has been written. The truth has sparked civil wars and controversy since the age of human kind. Above all, the old adage is true – honesty really is the best policy.

Thank you for taking the time to read along with me today. I honestly hope your Tuesday is exactly as you want it to be. -🍋💋