Monday Macca makes the jump to hyper speed. I’m totally guilty of being a podcast listener. In specific, I listen to ‘Call Her Daddy’ with Daddy Alex Cooper on Spotify. Ladies, it’s totally worth a listen— especially if you read this regularly— or your my irl friend.

The name of the podcast is what drew me in— to be completely honest. It’s totally the kind of sarcastic ass shit I would off the wall, and totally out of place— say. Ironically it was 2021 I was scrolling through the— otherwise mundane— matrix themed Spotify playlist menus. I was looking for answers— My ex had manipulated his inabilities into…

(SENSITIVE READERS… UNDER 18…. I HEART YOUR FACES— it’s that time! Please stop here– 🍋💋)

“Your pussy is like a 5 gallon bucket.”

I had never had a complaint in the past. In fact, the gentleman that have been allowed to access my aural energy have praised or been questioning of their performance. To me, it’s awkward AF. Now I have to figure out my newly changing, nearly middle aging body. I questioned the universe, and asked for answers. The universe answered with a Podcast that was fit to ignite my self love needs. Woman taking about real life struggles.

As a society, we listen to music that is provoked by sex— and pleasure. From Nikki going off about that pussy poppin—to AC/DC’s entire legendary discography. Carnal pleasure is at the forefront of every day life—Impressing upon us the ever presence of personal appearance and sexual attraction. Podcasts are no different— except they offer a real life take on the things society doesn’t really want to talk about.

Like the damage to someone’s character by the constant bullying incorporated with growing up. Sure, sex sells— but these days it’s more about what’s yours damage. Each of us spends infinite unconscious brainpower and time developing our own story lines. Within those story lines, we create our light hero and dark villain selfs.

In many people, the character we play consumes who we believe ourselves to be— instead of understanding the coping and safety of our villain side. Allow me to use myself as an example.

Describe yourself as you see you.

Physically, I am an overweight, fourth something with blond hair and a way too round face. I see my lumps, scars and imperfections. Inside is a tangled web of questions. A distorted road map of who and what I am suppose to be. Nothing particularly motivates me except the hope of kindness. I crave the small dinner party kind of friendships I see on tv— yet harbor such a deep distrust of humankind— I won’t take the risk of breaking my own heart again. I understand schedules, I just do not like them. I don’t plan things because I would prefer to spend my time doing what I like. Time is the only commodity that is worth more than money. Ain’t no one foraged time yet.

I see a character that is a little hippie— a little hillbilly. A mystery, even to herself. She is self-made, and trying to figure herself out. She operates off a self-imposed code of honor, integrity and excellence. She doesn’t play games and she doesn’t like people that are “too nice”. Violence is a thing of her past, and she will avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary. She is a creator— an artistic mind— but because of her insecurities she doesn’t think her productions are worthy. She’d rather hide than be publicly shamed again.

She has tried to be kind, vulnerable and caring to the people she cares about. Time after time, she’s been intentionally left out, abandoned and ab(used) for trusting. She constantly feels alone in the world. By this point she’s all but given up. The cravings will never be satisfied, so she is struggling to settle for solitude— yet the fire still burns within her. She is hurt and angry.

Describe yourself as someone else sees you.

When looking at her we see beauty. The softness of her features with flowing curls of blond hair. She has a mystery to her hazel blue eyes. She is a stranger with a strange accent— and she speaks her mind. She can be a real bitch, a sore spot, a loose cannon. She can be intimidating— yet she is motivational. She has a way with the people who have not been lucky in life, and those who are at the top of their game. They see someone who stands up for the little person, and understands the value of their skill set— and their time. She is not one to do the work for you, or let the mission fail intentionally. She cares deeply for those she holds the most dear.

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Take a few minutes and try this self discovery prompt. I’d love to read your comments and responses. What character do you see yourself as? What’s your favorite Podcast? Let’s taco bout it! -🍋💋