I can’t express what exactly time is for me. It used to be determined by the hands of a clock, and the hour of the day. I can recall instances of looking up at one moment and not again for 3 hours. As if the perpetuity of physical time was flying away.

Time is witness, defendant, judge and jury. Time is kind and time is cruel. Tick tock on the clock…. Let’s stop wasting time…

Time is defined as the continued sequence of existence and events that occurs in an apparently irreversible succession.

Sure, that sums it up academically— but what about for us non academics?

Admission— Currently, I have all the time I want yet nothing to do but waste time. Hence, this entire website. Yes, most days I can’t get out of my head enough to do anything but write. Other days, there just is no time.

But what if all that time turned into months, then years and— before you knew it 20 years has gone. What then?

Americans dream of having all this ‘stuff’ they like to collect as memories of moments in time. Houses, cars, an entire collection of slightly used earplugs… gross. Photographs are especially important as they reflect the roots of our times. Histories are written as reminders of the times before— and preserved long after. Hell, even employers pay for time.

Time. Fickle, unyielding… time.

They say time can build you up, or tear you apart. Currently, I feel like time is playing a cruel joke. Day after day I sit here staring at a blank white screen, contemplating what to write about. Trying to scour my mind for ideas outside of the things that most irritate me. Clearly, I am usually unsuccessful. The issue with time is… when you spend it isolated and alone… your mind drinks the poison that it’s been brewing full-time.

Without even the most wanted of distractions I find myself recalling time after time that I’ve felt lonely, isolated, upset, and downright broken. Remembering the things I have done to bring myself back to the safety of better times. Yet, it yields no positive results.

Time has taken its toll on this gal. This time, she may be permanently broken— enough to spend the rest of her time, alone.

Day after day, from sun up to sundown— waiting to see if there is enough time for me. There is no point to beg or plead. So I wait, and one by one time chips away, ever so slow.

Yet- here I still sit. Frozen in time…

…always alone. -🍋💋