Today, the universe has chosen to activate my inner voice.
I find myself tiring of the external social company of others. Honestly, it is absolutely draining. As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks have now blossomed into months- Time has managed to escape me, yet the unseen results are starting to manifest.
I have been voluntarily secluding in an effort to heal. The past years have been brutally unkind.
There is a special place in all of us that feeds our need to survive. It’s seeds deep down inside our soul, and carries our unique traumas of the past. Yet, for many it is an unseen place where only the darkness lives. Then there are the rest of us. We were born with all-access backstage passes to the shit show.
Dealt such a disabling hand from the moment we arrived at the table. Disguised as appropriate and polite, programmed to the very toxic wavelength of our parental figures. Unknowingly, we are thrown into the world at 18 years old and slapped with the cold hard truth that is todays society and harshly rejected.
You’re too young and immature. Something is wrong with you, why would you think that is okay? Are you stupid, have you never used Bleach before?! We’ve moved on in our hiring process with someone more qualified.
We, then spend our time obsessed with the question, “What’s wrong with me?”
Some of us just accept that we are broken in one way or another, and the self imposed isolation begins. Others, push on pretending there is something wrong with the persons who said these things to them.
‘Clearly, they didn’t understand your professional value’.
Then there are those human beings that I like to refer to as sponges. The ones that absorb every word spoken to them as if it was personally assigned.
I used to be one of those people, hence why my super power is rooted in how quickly I can piss them off. I don’t like making other people uncomfortable or upset, but when you leave yourself as an open target and want to talk shit in my direction…. Well… shit happens.
AND
I don’t know if anyone has said this out loud to those folks before….it ain’t all about you sweetheart.
My personal survival has cost me a lifetime of confusion and pain. It has cost me the ability to tolerate people. It has negatively impacted all of my relationships, until now.
Yet I still have no will to leave my house. There isn’t anything wrong with me, I’m just tired of how you all have decided we are going to act.
🚢💋SEDONA SUNSETS💋🏴☠️ 