What are your top ten favorite movies?

I can’t with y’all today. I just… cannot bring myself to spend the next two hours writing a book report about Jason, Freddy and the boys.

What I am willing to give you at 0340 is a clinical example of Demand Avoidance Autism.

Go play in traffic. PERIOD.

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I have a serious case of CRS (Can’t Remember Shit, combined with the need to fidget, uncanny ability to talk about my life and nothing better to do.

If I’m being really super-duper honest, the actual act of watching the tv or film physically hurts.

In color television, the image is reproduced by selective excitation of three RE-phosphors (blue, green, and red) deposited on the internal face of the screen by a highly powerful electron beam originating from a metal electrode (cathode). Such an excitation technique is termed Cathode Ray Tube (CRT) technology.

When you want to watch a movie using an LCD projector, white light is passed through the dichroic mirrors and split into three colors: red, green, and blue. The red, green, and blue lights are reflected into three separate LCD panels and reconverted to create a single vibrant image projected on the big screen.

A home theater projector is an optical device that uses a bulb or laser to project, or throw, an image on a large screen or wall area. Also called beamers, they are used for displaying digital video content and shouldn’t be confused with old-style film projectors that project 8mm or 16mm film like this:

Autistic people can experience both hypersensitivity (over-responsiveness) and hyposensitivity (under-responsiveness) to a wide range of stimuli.

Sensitivity to light can manifest in different ways for people with autism. For instance, physical symptoms may include:

• Lower tolerance for light
• Discomfort from fluorescents and other artificial light
• Light avoidance behaviors (e.g. shielding eyes) 
• Afterimages
• Visual snow
• Headaches or migraines triggered by light

Other signs may include repetitive behaviors (stereotypical of autism) as well as poor eye contact or eye movement. Increased anxiety is also reported autism-related sensory deficits; this is reinforced by broader clinical studies showing that light exposure can be a prominent source of anxiety in sensitive individuals.

What is worse is that these types of sensory disruptions can lead to social problems and worsening educational outcomes which endure through the course of the autistics lifetime.

Not to mention the reduction of viable life terms, chemical imbalances, physical degradation, cell malformation and the hell that comes with associated Hyperacusis.

Hyperacusis is a type of reduced tolerance for sound. People with hyperacusis often find ordinary noises too loud, and loud noises uncomfortable or painful.

But that is a story for another day.

Autism doesn’t define me, but it does limit or complicate things I do. It never has. Undiagnosed for 40 years, I managed to slip through the cracks and have a pretty decent life. Even if it does mean I have to keep putting this shit on my head.