What’s your favorite time of day?

ZzZzZ… oh sh*t, my bad! Monday morning seems to be keeping with its reputation.

My favorite time of day is when I get to use my pretty expansive imagine to answer daily prompts. Unlike this one.

Everyday in my world is exactly the same. I wake up too early, because I fell asleep to early. I fight the urge to pee for an additional 5 minutes of the perfect habitable environment of the blankets and sheets. I then fall into realizing that the consequences of falling asleep in a sports bra and shorts on the couch then sleep-walking my way to bed around 12 include the reason it’s sub arctic in the whole apartment.

The second realization is that the dog has now stirred. This means I will have to let her out to pee too. F*ck, now I have to remember where I put that stack of clean hoodies and I have to attempt to be as quiet as possible.

Eventually, the pressing urge from deep inside my body forces me to my feet. I then grab the wall because middle aged me still thinks I can move that fast, while my right knee gives out. The dog gently licks my knee and proceeds to shake, causing her tags to ring like the bells of Notre Dame.

Granted all of this is going on with my boyfriend, the stone cold sleeper, in the queen bed adjacent.

I wake up again in the middle of trying to open the sliding patio door while disabled. The dog is just staring at me, at this point her anxiety far exceeds mine due to the malfunctioning door.

I’d give about anything for that piece of shit to not get stuck and sound like I’m torturing a small child to get it open before first light.

Then it’s off to feed the fish. We start with the big tank, this involves the most effort. Not only do I have to remember how the light works, we get to count the fish. Again, this is my own self imposed consequence because I know that girl at the PetCo was totally full of shit.

Then it’s on to the other two smaller tanks for feeding and welfare checks. Finally, I am functional enough to remember to let the dog back in. Then she will intently stalk me so I don’t forget to feed her.

It’s now been about an hour, and I’m finally sitting down to write this. Normally, this would be where my favorite time of day kicks in.

But not today. Today I get to answer virtually the same prompt I answered less than a week ago.

Now I think I’ll go make mini waffles and fruit and play World of Warcraft.

Thanks for attending my Ted talk this morning! 🍋💋