What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

YOUR MOM.

I apologize, the opportunity was too good.

Honestly, I have been up for a minute now. The morning situation from mundane Monday was truncated this AM. I was in a mood, and the door actually opened.

I have also had the opportunity to cheat on the pop quiz, and look at all of your papers in preparation to write this. There are not enough time in the day to hand out the multitude of likes I possess. Y’all straight slay.

I was birthed into this existence in the early 80s. As a kid, I watched cartoons. I remember He-man, Spider- Man and Jim Hensons Fragel Rock. Mr. Rodgers, The Hugstables, The Wonder Years, Who’s The Boss, & Full House.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer holds a special place in my heart. Sara Michele Gellar and David Borealis. Excuse me, I need a private moment.

Fuck!

That was also the first time I felt anything in the lower 48 for a grown ass man. Of course, when the spin off ‘Angel’ came on- I was immediately disappointed and focused elsewhere. I couldn’t handle the whole “Im depressed but maybe kinda vicious and an ex-thug” role type.

Then there was The X-Files. A perfect combination of suspense and sexual tension. You can’t tell me Scully and Mulder didn’t have a situationship. There is no other legitimate reason for the amount of shitty roadside motel room in quaint mountain ghettos they managed to always stay in. I’m totally not discounting the smoldering gaze Mr. Duchovny laid on Ms. Anderson pulsating bedroom eyes. The aliens were pretty alright too.

OMG! DINOSAURS.

This was the jam. Right here. It is safe to say I had a healthy addiction to a baby triceratops smashing its dad over the head with a frying pan and screaming, “NOT DA MAMA”. Genius.

I totally want to make a pit stop here and let yall know this was the Glory Days of this show. Before the stars eventual downfall in the forms of bribing college, severe eating disorders, drug abuse and suicides. Clearly, the Tanners didn’t find a resolution in their 20 year episode.

Then, in 2016 the next-gen “Fuller House”. Adding the ‘er’ just meant it was already too full. As if the original cast didn’t already shit the bed, Netflix releases this Gem forgetting to change the sheets. It ran for 5 seasons, before eventually being taken down for failing to significantly grow its audience.

Nickelodeon shows like Legends of The Lost Temple.

Back when putting pre-teens in physical contact situations was permissible parenting.

‘Here Sally. Strap on this helmet and full set of Rollsblading pads so you can get on that 10ft pedestal and try to jump to catch the swinging ropes.”

I don’t know about any of you, but bearing down full battle rattle for a skate on the waterfront didn’t leave me with much flexibility. It’s a lot like riding a Segway for the first time. Body be looking all ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board’. 😂

Whatever, I was there too.

Of course it’s because anyone who was anyone was watching American Gladiators.

There was just something about Joe Theismanns voice coming over the 13” Sears CRT special.

Then we all settled in to see which contestant was going to get wrecked, while placing imaginary bets on our favorite juiced out gladiator. Then flipping over to TBS for WWF. Get wrecked, it wasn’t forced to be the WWE.

The Real World brought us into the reality TV era, paving the way for MTV to release Jackass in 2002. Officially marking the end of the classic Music Videos with Max Headroom.

This too brings this novel of a prompt answer to an rather awkward and tragic end.

See y’all tomorrow.