How often do you walk or run?

🎙️ Ladies and gentlemen, believers in the church of convenient exertion, gather round as we embark on a hilarious journey into the world of allergic reactions to running, and the miraculous salvation found in the sacred quest for snacks! 🙏🏼

🏃‍♂️ Brothers and sisters, I stand before you, a humble elder millennial, born in the dawn of the internet age. But lo and behold, my fellow faithful, my body has declared war against the very notion of running! Yes, you heard me right. Running, that exhilarating pursuit of youth and vitality, is my kryptonite. The universe seems to conspire against my attempts to sprint through life.

🤧 The moment I lace up those sneakers and break into a sprint, the allergic gods descend upon me. It’s as if a thousand sneezing angels release their pollen fury, turning my heroic jog into a frantic dance of allergy-induced chaos. Oh, how I envy those who can sprint through meadows without turning into a sneezing emoji! 🤧

🍪 But fret not, dear disciples of convenience, for I have discovered a divine loophole! Yes, the holy path to salvation lies in our quest for snacks! While the world may scorn us as lazy or sedentary, we elders of the millennial generation have tapped into a higher understanding. We have realized that the journey to the office snack room is a pilgrimage of its own. A spiritual sojourn where each step is a testament to our determination.

🚶‍♂️ “Thou shalt walk,” the scripture declares, “not with haste, but with the grace of one in search of sustenance!” And so we stroll, my brethren, from the comfort of our ergonomic office chairs, across the hallowed halls, and into the realm of the vending machine. With each step, we defy the expectations of the fitness-obsessed world. We proclaim, “We shall not run, for our pursuit is not mere exercise, but the holy grail of office snacks!”

🙌🏼 As we stand before the snack shrine, choosing between salty and sweet, let us give thanks for our path of least resistance. Let us revel in our peculiar but practical form of exercise. For, my fellow elder millennials, we may not have the stamina of the marathoner, but we possess the wisdom of the snack seeker!

🙏🏼 In closing, I implore you, dear readers, to share your own tales of snack-time salvation in the comments below. Let us gather in this virtual congregation and celebrate the divine art of minimal effort. Together, we shall walk our way to enlightenment, one snack at a time. 🍪🚶‍♀️ Thank you for joining this whimsical sermon, and may your path to snacks be ever obstacle-free! 🙏🏼