Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

How about my first day as a truly free human being?

For the past 9 months I have been struggling with my identity and humanity. Losing people is difficult, but transitioning them into strangers with memories is destroying.

One simply cannot forget 41 years of memories— nor does the pain or unquantifiable anger subside.

I’ve known a life of not living up to the expectations of others. In public, we were very ‘pretty pictures’ but we struggled just like every other family. Behind closed doors my emotionally unavailable mother did the best that she could with what she had to work with. She trucked along with her agendas without ill intent. She was just doing what she thought was best. She didn’t know anything about Demand Avoidance Autism, and for her faults I can no longer blame her.

Now it’s Hannukah, a family holiday where all are to be included. Despite my efforts to reach out in kindness and respect, I’ve gotten nothing in return. The path forward is clear.

Communication fails when both sides are incapable of understanding the language the other is speaking. I am unable to communicate with those unwilling to meet me halfway. After 9 months of struggling to find a new footing, I’m done feeling like a walking mid life crisis. Today, I am free.

In shadows cast by whispered woes,

A tale unfolds, concealed it goes.

The burden borne on shoulders frail,

Secrets harbored, a haunting tale.

Through veils of silence, they must tread,

A solemn vow, in quiet bred.

Not their truth to shield or shroud,

Yet silence weaves a heavy shroud.

Eyes cast downward, words unsaid,

Heartache lingers, a threadbare thread.

Apologies linger in the quiet air,

For secrets held, a weight to bear.

A tapestry woven in muted hues,

With threads of trust and tangled clues.

Each hushed syllable, a solemn plea,

To keep the truth from being free.

In chambers hushed, where echoes weep,

The guardians of secrets vigil keep.

A somber duty, they bear the cost,

Of promises made, forever lost.

Apologies dance on lips sealed tight,

A symphony of whispers in the night.

Forced into roles, they did not choose,

Bearer of secrets, they silently lose.

The moonlight weeps, a tear-stained sky,

For those who hold the unspoken why.

In shadows cast, a heavy toll,

A mournful hymn for secrets old.

Apologies spoken, like leaves that fall,

Yet some secrets echo, a silent call.

To those who carry burdens deep,

Forgiveness sought, in secrets’ keep.

In the void of understanding, forgiveness floats,

A delicate vessel on life’s vast remote.

The heartache echoes, a distant cry,

Yet forgiveness whispers from the sky.

In the absence of answers, like stars unseen,

Forgiveness sprouts, a meadow serene.

To heal the wounds of secrets untold,

A tapestry of grace, a story unfolds.

Through the labyrinth of shadows, one must roam,

To find a sanctuary, a place called home.

Forgiveness, a lantern in the night,

Illuminating paths toward inner light.

Unraveling the threads of the mystery,

A journey embarked, seeking victory.

To forgive oneself for the silent keep,

And bloom in the garden where secrets sleep.

The sun ascends with a gentle kiss,

Healing scars with an ethereal bliss.

In the soil of forgiveness, seeds are sown,

A resilient garden, an essence grown.

Understanding may remain a distant song,

Yet forgiveness, a melody, carries along.

In the chorus of healing, the heart takes flight,

Finding its own beautiful light.

The tapestry rewoven, colors anew,

From the fragments of gray, a vibrant hue.

Forgiveness, the brush that paints the dawn,

A promise of hope, a healing bond.

So, in the quiet chambers where secrets reside,

Let forgiveness blossom, let it abide.

For in the absence of answers, love can bloom,

And cast away shadows, dispel the gloom.

In echoes of memory, his voice did play,

A haunting whisper, a spectral display.

From the beyond, a message he gave,

Unraveling truths, a soul to save.

Through the sepulcher of time, it soared,

A voice revered, in my heart, it’s stored.

Proudly, he stands, a hero of yore,

In the corridors of recollection, forevermore.

Though our paths diverge, we part our ways,

Memories linger like soft, gentle rays.

A bittersweet symphony of days gone by,

In the gallery of my heart, you’ll never die.

Through the labyrinth of moments, I tread,

Carrying the echoes of words he once said.

For in parting, a connection remains,

A tapestry woven with love’s resilient chains.

My grandfather transcends the end,

A guiding light, a cherished friend.

Our story may close, but memories endure,

In the quiet echoes, love remains pure.

So, farewell, dear family,

I remain in the realm of the unseen.

Yet the memories linger, a timeless sheen.

Though we’re through, a legacy thrives,

In the whispers of my mind, our story survives.