Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to
visiting.

Seeing as I have either been working or too broke to go do anything since moving to Arizona in April 2021.

I fully admit I have made very little effort to adventure while attempting to heal a series of emotional wounds left by unfortunate events.

Yet, I have managed to make a so-called ‘bucket list’ of sorts. Pray-tell, some of these places are re-visits from childhood and younger millennial adventures.

Let’s go with a bit of a different format today. My ‘press-one for English’ internal prompt is extremely strong today & to be honest – I woke up this morning battling some pretty deep demons.

Being a mentally challenged person holds more trauma than a lifetime of disappointments should withhold. Life is really dark when you’re stuck in your head and you’re battling feeling unwanted.

Anyways. On with the show. Shall we?

Last visited in 2012, I felt so insecure walking about in my red tank top. I had a camera strapped to my back. But with 2 toddlers running about, I was more than nerve racked trying to be sure one of them didn’t fall into the earths buttcrack. This time, I’d like go without them.

Located about 30 minutes up the road – Scottsdale, Arizona is home to the Arizona Botanical Gardens.

Even more than I would love to have my butt touched and told that I’m pretty, (simultaneously, of course), I’d love to take up residence inside of this glass house.

Nature nurtures, and Jesus be a queen honey if it doesn’t do this woman’s soul good reconnecting with Mother Earth. Lort knows plants are more attentive to my needs than all but myself and one human being on this planet.

Absolutely, flooring-ly beautiful. The wonders of nature got me making up new vocabulary.

Work.

More than all I’d like to visit the place that want to hire me to work. Sure, all of the other places are the things made of dreams but the reality is I’ve been sitting here for the last 8 months applying for different jobs.

I have my degrees, and solid work history yet I’m not qualified to flip the burgers because I’m not a meth head. *sucks teeth*

I’m flat broke and despite attempts to be funny, or fundraise using donations only. The overwhelming stress that comes with the daily call because I’m unable to afford the $15 payment- now past due by a month.

It’s totally deflating.

This must be what a mid life crisis is all about. I can’t seem to even be kind to get myself back to where I was profitable a year ago.

Are you an employer in AZ (I telecommute too)? wtfchefv@gmail.com is immediately available. I’ll take $15 and hour, I no longer care!

The worst part is, I know there is no coming back from the bottom this time.

Yup. I volunteer as tribute. Although living in either New Mexico, Southern Nevada or Arizona from April to November is basically the same equivalent. It’s only fitting seeing as I haven’t always been the kindness living creature in the past. To be completely honest, petty should have been my middle fucking name.

With the amount of genuine ‘what the actual fuck’ moments I’ve had since my bowel decided to erupt at 5:30am, today alone has already constituted at least an hour of focus breathing to the mantra of ‘don’t hate, regulate.’ I’m not looking forward to sitting here, by myself watching the lives of others play out on the tele. Maybe I’ll get so lucky, the American Red Cross will reach out for William Wiley again and I’ll get to at least waste an hour calling their national hotline to inform them that William hasn’t been at this number since 2019.

I’m basically to the point of begging for human interaction. This is so fucking pathetic.

Happy fucking hump day, yall. Hopefully your Wednesday turns out a metric boatload better than mine.