What advice would you give to your teenage self?

What a way to start off any given Friday. Involuntary shadow work anyone?

Albeit, an extremely redundant question reworded, we just keep prying into a momentary residency in past disappointments. I mean, check out this post from SEPTEMBER 18, 2023.

Im going to take this somewhere else. Not sorry.

Over the past year I have done my fair share of talking to myself in a public forum for anyone to know, I have a terrible attitude about myself.

You see, for the past 40 years I have allowed the ghosts of the pasts permission to continue to hurt me.

Why? Because I felt that I had to work extra hard in order to mask myself for societies acceptance.

Oh the lengths I have gone to in order to remain in order with what was acceptable and appropriate from me.

So, what would I tell my teenage self for the 2nd time in 5 months…

Direct eye contact is uncomfortable.

Yes, Other people are staring at you because you are beautiful.

The Women that openly covert your natural bed head full of barrel and c2 curls are being genuine. You don’t appreciate it, but people pay big money to emulate what you’re busy destroying to fit into your family and society.

Enjoy your time in Israel. Dance in the rain, get your tounge pierced, sleep under the stars on a Saturday night cuddled up to some cute Israeli soldier named Yoni that you’ll never see again. Sneak into the old farmers lush orange feels for an afternoon snack with your friends. Oh, and YES. The cucumber tastes like dirt at breakfast and you have no idea how you’re really smart Australian roommate eat them with cottage cheese and tomatoes religiously. Call home, wake them up. They would rather hear from you than worry.

Them high school boys don’t love you. They will pursue to conquer you, and you’ll feel like shit when eventually they leave. It wasn’t you darling, it was that someone else was willing to put out quicker. Keep your morals.

When you’re 18 in that barracks room, it’s okay to say No. Don’t be scared, and don’t just let it happen. Have some respect for yourself.

Finally, go to your therapist. It’s okay to talk to them, it’s okay to trust that you’re not thinking correctly. Find out why direct eye contact, social situation and the ever daunting voice telling you that you are unworthy of love because your biological mother threw you in the trash is a lying manipulative son of a bitch.

You are going to do great things that other people will discount out of jealousy. You will be called all the names; orphan, weird, retard and worst. Do not accept them, you are uniquely broken in beautiful ways that no one can compare to.

For a kid that can’t math, you’ve done pretty well. Two bachelors, A Masters, and a decorated military veteran. Your skillsets are unlimited in the creative realm, and you think wayyyyyy outside of the thought of a box that most people won’t be able to follow your deeply rooted trail.

Find your 6 siblings, most of them are cool.

You got this kid. Forgive yourself. You’re going to make it.