Who would you like to talk to soon?

Golly gee! I’m so glad I didn’t spend 3 years as as Apple Advisor for nothing!!!!

Dearest Gentle Reader,

Greetings and salutations! We’ve collectively made it to the end of yet another week. Before we know it May’s flowers will make way for the ides of June. Yay!

Whist on my daily digital promenade through the “Daily Prompt” response section, I noticed a delightfully recurring theme.

Yall are as annoyed with Day One as I am!

Your author felt an overwhelming sensation of joy flood over her as she gently scrolled through the last hour. Beauty filling her newly opened eyes. Just what a deeply depressed soul needed.

With the exceptional coverage already present on telling Day One how much these prompts induce post game couch burning rage.

What shall your author bring to the discussion today?

Then it dawned on me….

HOW TO TALK A HAPPINESS ENGINEER ABOUT THE PROMPTS.

This is your Jetpack settings screen. One may access it by tapping their nearly indistinguishable profile picture, which for your author is in the lower right hand corner.

TAP ON ‘HELP & SUPPORT’

Upon tapping, you will be presented with a page similar to this.

Look for the CONTACT SUPPORT, and tap on the words or link. you will then be brought to an interactive AI chat screen.

It will automatically present you with a list of pre-populated answers, which need not be selected.

Instead, type whatever you want into the chat pane at the bottom of the screen. Then hit send.

You’ve now unlocked the next level in this reality adventure game and reach out to a Happiness Engineer.

Gotta love corporate toxic positivity.

I suppose we’ve now come to the part of this post where your author fervently apologizes to the individual shamed with this job title.

But, what the fuck….😂🤣

I legitimately laughed out loud when my blogging platform gave me permission to attend Jetpack rehabilitation therapy.

My first thought after collecting myself from the crumpled laughing mess in the chair was ‘I wonder if they will take my insurance?’. If not, they definitely should take whatever the poor souls over at WordPress offer. Hell, send them a grief counseling team.

Trust the process, my guys…

Despite having one of the worst job titles witnessed in business, it’s a known fact that 10/10 customer support employees already hate themselves enough to be in a cubical situation. Why must it be emotionally abusive too?

I hope they at least provide snacks.